A LITTLE ABOUT COBWEB

Name

Cobweb (Real Name – Cobster Webster.  Cobweb for short).

Age

Approximately 5000 years young. Honestly, after the first millennium, you just stop counting and start moisturizing.

Favorite Food

Dehydrated fruit. It’s the only thing that matches his current texture. He’s also a big fan of “Wrap” sandwiches, for obvious reasons.

Favorite Hobby

Competitive Unwinding. It’s like yoga, but much more high-stakes. He also enjoys playing “Statue” in the local museum to terrify school groups—he’s currently the undefeated regional champion (not actually a true fact, but that’s what i would like to do).

Key Accomplishments

• Successfully avoided being turned into “Mummy Brown” paint during the Renaissance.
• Holds the world record for the Longest Power Nap (2770 after the great flood – 2025 AD).
• Once convinced a group of archaeologists that a stray Dorito in his tomb was a “sacred ritual talisman.” Or was that some other tomb?

Fun Fact

Despite the name, Cobweb is actually allergic to spiders. Every time he sneezes, he loses one of his eye balls. It’s a real safety hazard.

Favorite Colour

Antique Linen. (Or, as he calls it, “The color of everything I own.”)

Favorite Animal

The Scarab Beetle. They’re great listeners, very low maintenance, and they never try to eat your internal organs—which is more than he can say for his old pet hyena.

Interesting Fact

Cobweb actually invented the “Side-Eye.” It’s much more effective when your eyes are lined with three millennia of kohl and you haven’t blinked since the Bronze Age.